I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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