Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
