I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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