She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
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