As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
