Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
