You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
is this the sara with the beer cane?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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