she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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