ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
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