And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
