Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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