question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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