So drunk its hurt
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
