She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Randomize
