just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
