Why are handjobs necessary in class?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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