your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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