dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
