____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
