And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
