There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
