just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
