:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize