he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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