In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
your room smells of hookers.
And success
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
it glows. i had to have it.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize