Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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