Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
i barfeds in our rink
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I understand Curling. That high.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
