Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
from now on my penis is your penis
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Someone came in the potted fern
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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