friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
