Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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