I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
