are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize