Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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