I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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