Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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