it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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