Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
