Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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