The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
