We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
