Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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