They should really pass out barf bags in church
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
