i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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