Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
