Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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