fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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