I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
