sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
