people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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