They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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