matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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