just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
