My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
