There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
