people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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