You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
There r osticjed everywhere
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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