i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
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