I'm pants shitting drunk right now
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
