we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
