Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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