The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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