my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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