No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
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